Saturday, May 10, 2008

Thoughts about Looks and a cousin

I've been fiddling around on SecondLife (tm owned by Linden Labs) as of late and thus have virtually disappeared from the blogging world in favor of a virtual one. On SecondLife, my avatar is young and thin and blonde and works as an exotic dancer (stripper) at a club raking in lots of Lindens. In my first life, I have never worked as a stripper. Quite frankly, I am fat and dumpy. In high school I was thinner but after high school, I blew up along with my weight. When I was younger, I was naturally thin. I could eat anything I wanted to (and did). As I aged, I forgot that I couldn't do that anymore. When I am ready, I will get up off of my dead ass and lose the weight. Until then, in my SecondLife I am hawt.

At one time in my 30s I lost 80 pounds through no fault of my own. I got more looks from men when I was thin. I didn't have to deal with those ramifications for long because within a year, the weight came back. I'm sure there is some kind of feminist brilliance rattling around in my battered brain just waiting to be expressed about that observation but I don't care enough to dig it out.

A younger bro of my dad lived with his family in South Carolina. We went to see them one summer for a week and I had a blast. I had two cousins who were pretty neat. We liked each other. There was a third on the way when my dad's younger brother got killed in Nam. He was in Special Forces. My aunt married an older brother of my dad and moved up north. One of the cousins went with me and my dad and his second wife to Post Farms in Lancaster Pennsylvania for a few days. We had lots of fun, my cousin and I. We went swimming (at the Army pool in North Carolina as well as at the Post Farms), sang along with "They're coming to take you away haha..." on the radio, and shared the secrets that two young pre-teens would.

Recently, mate and I went to meet my dad and cousin for lunch. She is grown now with two kids of her own, divorced, lives in a townhouse, has a dog, writes, and has a career. Over the years we kept in touch via christmas cards. It was great to see her again!

We all ate at a Japanese restaurant. My cousin eats no meat though she will eat fish. Fish gives me a headache. She managed to retain her skinniness. I am fat. She is working. I am disabled. She is divorced. I am married. She believes in "everything happens the way it was meant to be." I left that behind years ago. Yet through the superficial differences, she remains my cousin.
I love you cuz!

spike

No comments: